Verity

OK, this may or may not contain spoilers, so I'll click the button.

I don't often pick up thrillers or whatever you call this, especially ones where people are going on and on about all the sex in it. So, full disclosure, these books don't often appeal anyway. I decided to give this one a spin because it seems to be well-loved after a bajillion goodreads reviews. Here are my thoughts:

1) The writing wasn't as bad as I thought it would be based on the Book Nerds group I'm in on Facebook. I expected a 50 Shades of Grade style shit-show, so I guess I have that to be thankful for. It was super repetitive in the beginning, following all of Lowen's thoughts in the first chapters before she heads off to Vermont which was really irritating. Yeah, I totally get she's this recluse character.

2) After she ends up in Vermont, a lot of the repetition stopped. It was almost like Hoover didn't really know how to introduce her character. Lowen was a pretty one-dimensional character. The reclusive writer, oooh, big deal. Reclusive writer meets handsome dude must be some kind of trope, but again, I don't read things like this generally speaking so I don't know.

3) I don't get the big deal about Jeremy. Reminds me of a bunch of crappy romance-type novels I used to giggle at when I worked at the library. Devastatingly handsome dude, with a platinum penis, who just hates that he's so good looking and irresistible. Whatever. Definite trope.

4) I have never bitten a headboard and I think that would be bad for your teeth as well as your furniture. I kept getting images of Red Dragon in my head and Francis Dolarhyde. Nothing really sexy about that.

5) When Lowen was reading the manuscript, I thought it was kind of funny how tired she got of reading about Verity sucking her husband's dick, because I, too, was tired of reading about Verity sucking her husband's dick. I would imagine that was intentional.

6) So the story wasn't so bad, the problem was the ridiculous scenarios that kept happening. “Oh, can you cling to me up these stairs because sometimes the door shuts and I uhh, don't wanna get locked in.” Cos she couldn't like, stand at the top and just wait for him to get up there like a reasonable person. I guess that's not sexy enough. Basically all of the sexy set ups were weird to me, but maybe I'm just a really boring old married lady.

7) And then the story was bad. The letter at the end. Christ Jesus, when can people just leave well enough alone? Like, I get it, we're supposed to be shocked. Like Girl on the Train level shocked or whatever (even though that wasn't shocking either). But for goodness sake, the twist was telegraphed from ages away. A better twist might have been just not having a twist. Just leave it. Verity is a psycho.

8) Who bangs a dude out and puts a pillow under their ass? Lowen is obviously the most fucked up character of all.

I think I'm done. I wanted to like this book, honestly. I stayed up reading it even. And then at the end, Colleen Hoover was like, “I totally can't resist, I have to write this really stupid letter that you knew I was going to write cos tee hee... clever.”

Whatever. Snore.

2 only because I was mildly entertained for awhile. But honestly, that's kind of generous. Considering.

And honorable mention to Colleen Hoover for making me have to read ridiculous names like “Chastin” and “Crew.” Wtf. I conceived on an air mattress once. I guess that could have gone really badly.