Timekeeper

I read many of the 1 star reviews on goodreads, but still listened to it anyway because Gary Furlong.

Listen, Gary Furlong, 5 stars.
TimeKeeper, -4.5 stars
And here we are.

There's this flair in the (i think) shitposting sub called “WARNING: BRAIN DAMAGE”, and it was all I could think about as I listened to this. The setting feels half-baked: it's steampunk but they have talking automatons. Explain it to me please. The characters have room temperature IQs, and really just don't grow over the course of the book. And of course, the central villain is a sex offender. I'll make a list:

1. Colton is so dry. So fucking dry. Danny has more chemistry with his fucking car. His whole shtick is being blond and cute, and self-harming. Yeah, when he wants attention he hurts himself. Then says, every time, “I didn't know.” He was utterly useless in the final fight. I'd have liked to see him have more agency. Which leads to his counterpart.2. Evelyn. Is this how it's spelt? I listened to it. Anyway, EVELYN. She also has zero agency in the book. I mean she leaves the town, then just kinda hides out in Matthias's house for three years. Then at the end it's just like Stockholm syndrome or something. Like can you bash his head in with the chisel please.3. Danny. How does he think he'll get away with stealing Daphne's assignment? At the end, when Evelyn claims she'll kill herself, why not play along. Why immediately question her so Matthias can see she's bluffing? Literally the only redeeming part for me was when he swung that bat at Matthias. Like, FUCK HIM UP, PLEASE.4. Daphne. Why did we even get her POV? I literally don't care. And she steals the cog? WHERE IS BRAIN? What an absolute dumb fuck. Like FUCK HER UP AND TAKE THE COG BACK WTF. 5. Danny's mom. She's not a great mom. Those things she was saying to him at the end, telling him his father would be disappointed in him. What a cunt.6. Danny's dad. So this is who reported Matthias. And who was trapped in the town in the first place because he didn't want to vacation with his family. And then he returns and we're supposed to be happy? Danny needs therapy. His dad is a piece of shit and his mom is flaky as fuck.7. Lucas. Why do we even get a POV? Just for him to die? I thought we were going to get a redemption arc, or he was going to do something, save the town, become the clock spirit. Idk fucking jazz it up. But he literally just dies and his girlfriend (now ex unfortunately) is all like you punched him so this means you killed him. Dumb fucks.8. The setting. Like I mentioned, we get an automaton that speaks. And cars. I don't know what else we have. The worldbuilding is half-baked. Should've just made it historical fantasy if the worldbuilding work wasn't going to be put in.9. Wtf was that Greek mythology nonsense? Bruh. It added zero value, and felt really fucking off when the book is set in fucking steampunk London.10. So Danny ends up in Enfield and everything is temporarily ok. And then some random group just sends him a letter saying, “We're watching.” Like, okay? Ooh I'm so scared.

Garbage. But Gary Furlong is always worth a listen. I honestly will probably listen to the second book. It's bad enough for me to be able to listen to at work without worrying about missing stuff.