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Average rating3.7
What happens when your partner of twenty years suddenly believes you’re nothing but a stranger? What do you do when your history together is gone? How do you prove you’re not an imposter in your own life? When the partner of Emmy Award–winning screenwriter Abi Morgan abruptly collapsed from a mysterious illness, doctors were concerned that he would not survive. Then, six months later, Jacob woke from his coma, to the delight and relief of his family and friends—except this proved to be anything but a Hollywood ending. Because to Jacob, the woman standing at his bedside, who had cared for him all these months, was not his partner. Not his children’s mother. Not the woman he loved. Sure, she looked like his Abi, but this was an imposter, living someone else’s life. Finding herself dropped into a real-life night-mare seemingly ripped from the pages of a thriller, Abi must find a way to hang on to not only their past but also their future together, before it slips away from them both. With grace, an irresistible sense of humor and refreshingly raw honesty, This Is Not a Pity Memoir grapples with a journey through fear and redemption few should have to face. What do you do when you are losing your love? You don’t write a pity memoir. You write a love story.
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Yes the author is white, rich, and privileged but that doesn't make her memoir any less harrowing or powerful. British screenwriter Abi Morgan's partner suffered a near-fatal brain injury that left him severely disabled. And although his short term memory and physical impairments improved slightly over time, he insisted that Abi was an imposter and that his “real” partner was missing.
Despite this devastating irony of devoting herself to caring for a man who didn't remember her, Abi somehow found a way to keep going. She had a strong support system as she processed her grief and anger, took care of her two adolescent children, and faced her own health crisis. I liked the way she self-edited as she wrote, as if she were directing a movie and some of the scenes weren't interesting enough. Of course, having your own villa in Italy for a getaway is not a luxury that most people in this situation would have, but she does recognize her good fortune in that regard.
There's no neat, happy ending to the story. But it's still uplifting to see that love is still love, even if it looks radically different from what you thought it would be.