The White Man's Guide to White Male Writers of the Western Canon
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How do you use ‘taraddidle’ in a sentence? Is it possible to make a Gin Ricky that’s also a metaphor for the American Dream? How can you tell your Faulkner from your Franzen if you haven’t actually read either?
Allow me, the @GuyInYourMFA, to expound on the most important (aka white male) writers of western literature. You’ve probably seen me around, observing the masses, or defying the wind by hand-rolling a cigarette outside a local, fair-trade coffeeshop. I’ve actually read Infinite Jest 9½ times. Care to discuss?
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This originally appeared at The Irresponsible Reader.
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If you want to be a writer, you should attend an Ivy League university, where you roommate happens to be the nephew of a senior editor at Knopf, and you should go on to get a summer internship in New York City. This internship will not be paid, and unfortunately you will have to suffer the indignity of living in an apartment that your parents pay for. But soon, your struggles will pay off, and you will be accepted at one of the nation's most prestigious MFA programs.
If you can't do all of that, I hate to say it, but it sounds like you won't have the commitment and discipline necessary to make it as a writer.
teach you everything you need to know to become the chain-smokin, coffee-drinking, Proust-quoting, award-winning writer you've always known you should be...
Not a white man? Not to worry. The White Male Writer isn't a hard-and-fast demographic; it's a state of mind...
