The Starless Sea

“I think the best stories feel like they're still going, somewhere, out in story space.”

when i was younger, i always said that if there was one magical world that i could visit, it would be the night circus. i love that now that i'm older, i can say the same about the starless sea.

it's important to mention that years have passed since i read erin morgenstern's last book, because i think where i'm now in my life influences the impact this book had on me a lot. i think i would've enjoyed it greatly when i was younger, but i don't think it would've meant as much to me as it does now. maybe i just felt like its protagonist was extremely receptive to me projecting onto him.

so, erin morgenstern writes about worlds that i want to live in. about magic that i wish was real. the world that zachary ezra rawlins ends up in, is arguably the ideal magical place: books, mystery, puzzles, and an abundance of cats. everything about the magic in the starless sea is what i would want magic to be, and what i would expect magic to be. it is greater than its characters are, and more than they are, and it is too much for him to know. so many parts of the starless sea and the worlds above and below it are not explained or understood, and it's fine. you drift along with it, as zachary drifts along with it, and it's okay because the magic itself is so comforting. there are no stakes for the magic. there are high stakes surrounding the magic and surrounding the people surrounding the magic, but the magic has no dog in that fight. and the magic will not be used for anything but itself. i think there is something immensely soothing about a benevolent force like that that is simply exuding stories.

the structure of the book fits all of this perfectly, as well. it's strange, and a little overwhelming, and a little confusing, and it leaves you aching for more, out of curiosity and fascination and captivation. but when it doesn't give you more, and often it won't (though sometimes it will), you don't feel resentment. this is the way it should be. you get a glimpse, a fragment, a page of a book. that's all. it's okay.

i want to read this book again, because i think only when i read it again will i be able to properly muse on the meaning of a story that is so intentional about stories, and i will properly be able to grasp what it means for zachary to be an emerging media major with such an interest in interactive storytelling. there's so much there, i can just feel it, but right now my mind is still entirely wrapped up in how this book made me feel and i think i'm just going to linger in that for a little while longer.