The Snowman Killer

DNF @ 7%

That's roughly page four, according to the Kindle app, in case you're curious. I barely made it four pages into this book before deciding I can't suffer through the writing style or the main character any longer. Here's why, in a list, because I'm not feeling inspired enough to do a proper review:

* The main character is an author who's writing a novel about an author of the same name. So we end up with a situation where Sarah discovers creepy snowmen (obviously, based on the book's premise; confirmed with a quick skim) which remind her of the creepy snowmen her character Sarah found in the opening scene which remind her character Sarah of the creepy snowmen her character (possibly also Sarah) found... No, thanks.

* Look, some amount of talking aloud to oneself while alone isn't entirely unbelievable. I think we've all done it on occasion, with small phrases or reactions to things we're reading, writing, or watching. But Sarah takes the concept to an unbelievable extreme.

She calls herself a “silly twit” for being worried by a spooky noise. Then she has an entire monologue about how it's okay that she's wearing a shabby bath robe while in a nice cabin because she's in her forties, divorced, and there aren't any eligible bachelors in eyesight so she needn't worry. Then she has another self-monologue about being uncertain of the pen name she chose (not sure why, since she should be more concerned about her own mental health and the tacky way she gave her novel's main character her own name). Then she scolds herself for having coffee when it's “not even ten in the morning.” Then she has a self-dialogue about when the snowplows will come through.

And then - the point which made me shove this book into the DNF pile - she starts thinking about her ex-husband and goes “Why?” like she's a character in a Tommy Wiseau film. It's too much, especially since all these things happen in quick succession among subsequent paragraphs in the first few pages.

* For a character who “retired early,” Sarah sure does have an awful lot of gainful, time-consuming employment. She owns (and seemingly manages) a coffee shop and also is a full-time author who gets six-figure book advances. Sorry, but no. That's not retirement; that's a change of occupation.

* This one is more of a bonus point, since it's part of Sarah's novel so for all I know the point may be that she's an incompetent writer. But it's portrayed that Sarah-who's-Sarah's-character is spooked by having a snowman built in her yard overnight because she allegedly lives in isolation. That “isolation”? Being merely four miles from town, on a small two-acre plot of land surrounded by natural forest. Sorry, but no. Take it from someone who lives in a wooded area on eight or so acres and can still see the neighbour on the adjacent land and manages to brave the big, bad world from fifteen miles out of town: what was described is so non-remote that I'd instantly suspect the random snowman was made by kids in the area or wandering teens playing a prank, not be freaked out.

* And finally, I'm just not a fan of the writing style. It feels very dense and filled with unnecessary details. We don't need to know the colour of every wall and floor in the damn cabin!

This is the first of the Alaska Cozy Mysteries and the first one I have read set in Alaska. Sarah is a homicide detective that gave up her career and moved to the small town of Snow Falls, Alaska after her husband left her. She now writes mysteries under a pen name. When she finds a snowman in her yard similar to one she wrote about she is worried that someone she once put in prison may have figured out her pen name and be after her.

It's a good start to a series and although we don't get much of the small town vibes, we do get some and Sarah has a potential love interest as well as best friend side kick. I think it's a great beginning and I'm looking forward to reading more from this author.

Super quick and fun read. Short enough to pass the time and enjoyable enough to refresh the mind.