The Midnight Library

3.5 Stars

Immediately after reading (which was last night), I rated this book 5 stars because it was beautiful, well written, and ended on a hopeful note that resonated with me, but thinking more critically on the story did poke holes in my original rating.

There is something deeply unrelatable about Nora as a protagonist. Sure she has regrets, sure feels alone and these are all valid and relatable... if we can look past her privilege. Nora Seed has a book of regrets that is heavy and painful because she was born talented, into a good home, with middle class parents, in a rich country, with the right skin colour. The only thing stopping her from reaching her “full potential” is her debilitating mental health. Making ONE “correct” decision led her down the path of a Nobel Laureate, a Rock Star, an Olympian, a 1%-er in California with multiple vineyards. Am I to believe that this is the same for most of us in the world? What of us born with a disability? What of us born with chronic illnesses? What of us born in war-torn countries? Everything Nora could've become with one “right choice” is something most of us will never achieve even if we made “right choices” all our lives. There are some futures that just don't exist. It's even stated plainly in the book that Nora's cat Volts is destined to die young because he was born with a heart defect. So the book posits that there are choices and there is destiny. There are somethings that, no matter what choices you make, cannot be changed and that lies in the cards you're dealt at the start. As hopeful as the book is, this take is also highly fatalistic.The one thing I had in common with Nora are my regrets, my roads not taken. But by the end of the novel we didn't even have that in common. Nora knows, she's seen all her other lives and she decided that her root life is the best one for her. Nobody in the real world has that privilege. There is a moment in the book when Nora's... spirit guide (?), avatar for God (?), Mrs. Elm quotes The Road Not Taken at her, and it is a poem wildly misunderstood by so many people. What Robert Frost meant by the poem is no matter what road you chose to take you will always wish you had taken the other. The poem is about that ambiguity, of not knowing the other possibilities and maybe living in peace with that ignorance. The poem is the antithesis of this novel that actively shows Nora ALL the other possibilities. I remember thinking as I read parts of it “This is a self-help book disguised as a novel”. This is made especially clear in her final social media update where she sums up all her lessons learned. It felt... condescending. Be brave! Carpe Diem! Says the woman who knows for a fact that this life she is leading is the best life for her. So I still have my regrets and I'll probably never be able to see all my branching lives like Nora did, and neither will you or anyone else reading this. But I don't need to because I've always know that the future is mutable. There is no point in dwelling in the what-ifs especially if you are depressed. I'm glad Nora realises this in the end and can feel hopeful, but she only gets to this point by knowing for sure that this is the best life for her which again, is a privilege none of us will ever have.