The Gifts of Imperfection

Meh, I enjoyed Brene Brown's talks more I think. Her style definitely suits more of an in-person presentation/video than written. I did like the way she introduced/adapted Maria Popova's note-taking/reflective framework. I guess having seen her talks via TED and Netflix, this was nothing new for me.

Brené Brown shares what she has learned about vulnerability, authenticity, shame, courage, wholehearted living, and resilience.

Here are my notes from this book. My book club will be discussing Brené Brown and her work at the next book club meeting.

Wholehearted living - people who do this DIG deep. They Deliberate in their thoughts and behaviors through prayer and meditation...They are Inspired to make different choices. They Go—they take action.

Brown encourages us to recognize when we are in a shame storm. What should we do when we are in a shame storm? Tell someone who will offer compassion. It takes courage to do this, to speak honestly and openly, to risk being vulnerable and disappointed.

We have to start by setting boundaries, holding people accountable for their actions, not shaming and blaming them.

Connection is the energy between people when they feel heard and valued. Connection occurs when one can give and receive without judgment, when those involved can derive sustenance from the relationship.

Shame is the fear of being unlovable. To build shame resilience, Brown says we must tell our story and avoid the negative ways to deal with shame—moving away (silent, keeping secrets, withdrawing); moving toward (appeasing, pleasing); moving against (using shame to fight shame, aggressive, gaining power over others).

Authenticity allows us to be vulnerable, to set boundaries, and to be imperfect.

Brown encourages us to cultivate creativity, cultivate play and rest, cultivate calm and stillness, cultivate gratitude and joy, cultivate meaningful work, and cultivate laughter and song and dance. She suggests we need to trust our intuition.

Second review: apparently I forgot that I read this book last year and I didn't remember until I was about halfway through this read, so I guess that suggests how good it is?

At one point, Brene Brown was the leading thinker in this space and this book was groundbreaking. At this point, the world has too much content like this and it all starts to sound the same, unfortunately.

I think this book has a lot to offer, although the first half felt really long. I think this book is useful for insights in how to approach one's everyday life and everyday life kinds of stresses/pressures. Where it feels less applicable is thinking about major issues that occur less often but cause great stress. But I could be wrong. The main reason I gave it 3 stars is that the first half felt like it took ages to get through, and felt somewhat repetitive. The second half reads very quickly.

I did take a lot of good little notes, here are some of them. Some of these are direct quotes but most are paraphrases. Many of these seem obvious but the way they were explained in the book adds to them:

- You can't numb bad feelings without also numbing good ones

- The opposite of joy is not sadness but fear

- We are so afraid of the dark that we don't let ourselves enjoy the light

- Trust, gratitude, inspiration, faith (all together allow for joyful moments)

- Our need for certainty gets in the way of intuition

- Anxiety is contagious but so is calm

- Being busy to avoid stress/anxiety = a negative feedback loop. Calm/stillness = opportunity for clarity about the causes of stress/anxiety.

I absolutely loved this book–and really needed it. If you're considering it, go for it!!!

Might have to give my therapist a hug for making me read this.

I reread this book alongside my partner and I think it really does work best as the basis of a longer discussion. I tried to sit with it, take notes, reflect as often as I could. And I think the first half of the book was much stronger than the second half: the core concepts are best described here and Brown shares the largest number of anecdotal examples in the first chapters, which were necessary for me to grasp what she was saying. The Guidepost chapters are somewhat short and vague, but I guess that's the point: they're touchpoints, not theses.

It seems to be a useful source of further reading in the genre as well!

I definitely recommend this book to anyone pursuing a master's degree. This helped me understand how to deal with several thoughts and questions about self-doubt and self-worth during my master's.

I enjoyed this book and the things it presented even when it stated things I didn't want to agree with - e.g., you cannot love someone more than you love yourself. While I still don't really agree with that premise, I can see and follow and appreciate the logic she provides behind it.

I really enjoyed basically all of the concepts in this book, but I feel like it fell just a little bit short on how to implement these qualities into your life. Each guide section ends with a ‘DIG deep' (deliberate in thought and behavior by setting intentions, be inspired to make new and different choices, and going to do something about it) section, but that's about it. It's a one-off for things Brown advocates implementing radically different thought processes into your everyday life. I'm guessing it's for the sake of length of the book, but I really wish there had just been more elaboration on ways to adjust.

4.5 stars.

I haven't read all of her books (yet), but it feels like this is where it all began (though this isn't her first book). There are common threads that run throughout her books, so I could see them developing here.

Also, if the short, excellent chapter on Meaningful Work spoke to you, I'd suggest picking up one of my perennial favorites: The Crossroads of Should and Must by Elle Luna.

Great read! One everyone should read, insightful, calls us out on all the self shaming we do to ourselves and to others. A terrible but honest truth.

The Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon brought me here.

Working with Family and Children Services has been an exhaustive process with countless hours of classes as we work to integrate two new teens in our lives. Brené Brown's name came up with almost reverential fervour as we talked about empathy.

Soon I'm seeing her name everywhere. Her book Daring Greatly starts popping up in my social feeds and then several folks on Quora list The Gifts of Imperfection as a must read.

The book has clouds, a soaring dove and hands forming a heart on the cover. This is not my typical wheelhouse.

I don't know what it is about these books. It's like they just don't stick. I'm reading the words but all I'm retaining is the garbled whronk-ronk of the adults in a Peanuts cartoons. I'm wholeheartedly nodding along to what she's saying as I'm reading it but I just can't seem to retain any of it. Hopefully this isn't a sign that I'm repressing something awful. It's like my mind has stuck it's fingers in it's ears and babbled “la-la-la” the whole time.

I don't think I read self-help right. It's like it demands a different, more active reading than literary fiction. I'm out of practice.

This is a book that if taken to heart, can change your entire life. This was the exact book I needed to read right now. Although there are some physical aspects to my anxiety issues, I realized that this book hits on the root cause of my anxiety, and the pathway out of it. I'm tired of living to please people, I want to BE ME! I will pursue a wholehearted life from here on out, No matter who I piss off, annoy, disappoint, confuse or terrify. I deserve to be me!!! Thank you, Brené, for helping me see how to make that happen!!

Well written book raising important subject to reach balance and confidence in life.

Nah, could be much better.
Not what I've expected.

Quick to read, but a lot to learn from this book. This “shame researcher” outlines ten guideposts and ways to dig deep, allowing vulnerability to become an emotion and attitude you embrace because it brings you courage, compassion, and connection with yourself and with others.

Search for the author's TED talks on “The Power of Vulnerability” and “Listening to Shame” for deep insights on two topics most people struggle with. They make a great addition to reading the book.