The Forgotten Garden

Barf! Is Kate Morton 12? Because the entire book is a poorly conceived story about several generations of brainless, but beautiful (because that's more important), women. Characters have names like “The Authoress” or “the little girl” or “Swindle” or Cassandra. Speaking of, Cassandra has to be one of the most dim-witted characters around. How she didn't crack the “secret” of her Ancestress a lot earlier makes one numb by the time the huge “twist” is revealed.

There are red-headed orphans! Sadly, they aren't of remote interest like good old Anne of Green Gables. And twins! And the mention of things being twinned!

Wretched similes abound, such as the comparison of winding garden paths to the laces of an Irish dancer's shoe. Seriously? And the “allegorical” fairy tales beat one over the head until one wishes it would just end already. The pace just drags, drags, drags.

The only reason I got through the entire thing is because I have a long commute. The audiobook is decent, from a production perspective and from the narrator's perspective, but the content is drivel. If you really like this, go check out “Her Fearful Symmetry” by Audrey Niffenegger, which is awful in some similar ways.