The Fellowship of the Ring

I know I risk a lot by giving this such a low rating. How do you articulate that you didn't enjoy something so beloved?

Pro: Tom Bombadill is a truly terrific character and why the story couldn't be about him, I'll never understand.
Pro: The linguistics in this book are off-the-charts incredible. The rhythmic speech was, at times, intoxicating. Almost dry, his rhymes are metered so well you can tell that Tolkeien was as much scholar, as anything.
Pro: Sam is such a terrific sidekick.
Pro: Without Tolkien, there may have never been a Robert Jordan, Patrick Rothfuss, or James Islington... unimaginable horrors.

Con: The story drug on. Pacing was awful, even for part one of a sweeping epic.
Con: Frodo's chief attributes, those which make him perfect for the task to which he's called, are mostly his lack of desire and his ignorance. “Frodo, we believe you really are the only one suitable to carry the ring because you do not understand its power and, if you did, it wouldn't matter because you have nothing driving you which would leave you susceptible to it's power.”
Con: The (incessant) singing. Which, much of the time, felt like a gimmicky plot device to pack-in exposition late.
Con: Too much of any good thing is bad and the bouncing, rhythmic wit of Tom Bombadill was completely lost when employed by other characters; Frodo, in particular.
Con: Did I mention the pacing?

I'm sorry. I promise I still love story. Just not this one.