The Art of Asking; or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help

Great book about Amanda's life and how we should all be asking more questions. Especially from the people close to us. I knew almost nothing about Amanda, but now I became a fan. The audiobook narration is amazing so if you enjoy Audiobooks I recommend this one a lot!

It was a great read on trust and being authentic and not being perfect. I felt it could have been tightened up a bit (editor's fault) and transitioning between different timelines of her life (which I finally got used to and then didn't mind.) Some chapters seemed clipped a bit but for the most part I really enjoyed the book.

Going to now listen to her TED talk and a few of the songs that were mentioned.

Loved listening to her authentic voice (whoever read the introduction sounded a bit inexperienced) and the story that she told. Many beautiful ideas (yay art family and body acceptance!) and good metaphors.
Really enjoyed hearing about her relationship with Neil and her mentor Anthony.

I didn't really know who Amanda Palmer is but I had heard so many good things about this book that I got the audiobook. I'm so glad I did. One second I was crying, the next I was laughing. It's very honest and human...comforting. Highly recommend if you're in need of some love or hugs.

I wouldn't call myself a fan of Amanda Palmer. The Dresden Dolls was never really my jam; when she ended up on my radar it was because she married Neil Gaiman – of whom I definitely am a fan, and whose blog and Twitter I've followed for years and years.

The vast majority of what I know about her is what I've learned through the words of a fantastic writer who loves her. Thus, I already want to like her... but while I don't dislike her, I'm not sure I like her. It's complicated.

What I think of Amanda Palmer is this: She's fierce. She's independent. She's brave. She's imperfect. She doesn't always practice what she preaches (showing up, really hearing what others are saying to her, being compassionate). She's raw. She's unapologetically herself (for better or for worse). She puts herself out there. She's contradictory.

I know she's said some bullshit. I know she's fallen into the trap (seen often with stand-up comedians, but a danger to any performer) of, secure in the reality-distorting bubble of her fanbase, writing off those who point out problematic behavior as trolls or haters merely looking for something to be offended by.

I also know that a lot of the criticism of her is distinctly gendered. She's loud. She's unashamed of her body. She doesn't do what she's told, she doesn't know her place. She breaks the rules. She's emotional, self-absorbed, confrontational.

For better or for worse, AFP is indeed a Personality. But unequivocally, I do like what she's preaching: radical empathy, vulnerability, gifting instead of profit, opening up to each other instead of closing each other out. The radical notion that authentic human connection is more valuable than money.

In the end I do want to like her. Because Neil loves her, because of the odd song or story that speaks to me, because I think her anti-capitalist radical empathy is revolutionary and interesting and important. But I mostly want to like her, somehow, paradoxically, for all the reasons she makes me uncomfortable: because she's abrasive, she's messy, she overshares. Because I disagree with her about some things. Because I'm not sure I “get” her. Because parts of this book did strike me as disingenuous, self-indulgent, or myopic. Because I'm maybe a little jealous of her fearlessness and her honesty, of her willingness to confront the world head-on. Because I can't easily sort her into a neatly-defined little box.

I realize this is more a review of the person than the book, but hey, it's a memoir, so the lines get blurred.

I don't read a lot of non-fiction, and I almost never read biographies or autobiographies. So, I don't really know what to say here.

I finished The Art of Asking just a few minutes ago. It's honest, and touching and heartfelt. It made me cry in places (I'm a dreadful crier when I read). In short I really, really liked it.

I'm and ESL teacher and every autumn I give my students of a certain course the assignment to write a song analysis. This is a struggle for a great many of them, they don't really pay attention to the lyrics when they listen to music. After the deadline for the analysis I play them the youtube clip of the TED-talk and we discuss it. They struggle with this too, but in the end we all get something out of the conversation. Thank you, Amanda Palmer.

I'm wordy so I'll try to keep this short.

Here is what I can tell you about this book:
This is NOT a self-help book. There are no rules or instructions or laws stating exactly what YOU should do and how YOU should live your life in order to find happiness and peace and love. If you are looking for such things, please look elsewhere.

This IS an autobiography of an artist. It tells the story of how she found love, peace and happiness by taking the chance and asking of people - for the sake of her self and her art. This is the story of an artist who has worked incredibly hard for every bit she has gained, and an artist who has wholeheartedly felt every second of her journey.


My biggest thought throughout was this:
Firstly, you get back what you put into this world. If you are happy, positive, and open then even the bad things that do happen won't feel so bad. People will love to step up to help. If you are negative, antagonistic, and aggressive then the bad things will be all the worse and the good will be a lot harder to hold on to and when you need it, fewer people will be willing to pitch in to help.
Secondly, it's not easy. It takes effort, but with an attitude of love and perseverance - and of course, if you ask for the things you need - you will be amazed at what can happen.

It's not that Amanda has solely had a very fortunate life, it's who she is that made everything possible. For some of us, that is an inspiration.

On a personal note, this story resonated with me for a couple reasons.
First, I know firsthand what it is like to feel so connected to a group of random people who end up involved in a great happening. The incredible energy of a great show and the interactions that follow - it feels amazing and for those few hours no one is alone and no one is a loser and everyone is loved in that shared experience of awesome. It feels beyond amazing, and it's a feeling I deeply miss. There's a lot to be said for the power of shared experience.
Secondly, I have a crippling and utterly debilitation fear of asking. Yet, I offer and give without hesitation, always. I only take the donuts out of absolute near-desperate no-possible-alternative need. I went out and “got a job”. I am a work in progress, always. I take the steps I am comfortable with (and sometimes that i'm uncomfortable with) to get better. Sometimes, when I'm lucky I have awesome people around me who give me a good push (or shove) when I need it. Still, I am not brave enough to trust my art. Someday maybe I will be. This was a nice inspiration to try harder to do better (and to re-read Show Your Work by Austin Kleon, its short and sweet and truth.)

To Amanda: Thank you for sharing.

After hearing Amanda's Ted talk, I was excited to hear she had a book out that elaborated on the topic. The title of the book makes it sound like it's in the self help genre, but actually this is a memoir using asking for help as a unifying theme throughout her life. The openness of the memoir, and the issues she faced were refreshing to hear. An optimistic story that left me feeling good and wanting to read more by Neil Gaiman (her husband).

After hearing Amanda's Ted talk, I was excited to hear she had a book out that elaborated on the topic. The title of the book makes it sound like it's in the self help genre, but actually this is a memoir using asking for help as a unifying theme throughout her life. The openness of the memoir, and the issues she faced were refreshing to hear. An optimistic story that left me feeling good and wanting to read more by Neil Gaiman (her husband).

Originally posted on bluchickenninja.com.

The first thing I think everyone should know about this book is that you don't need to be a fan of Amanda Palmer or her music to enjoy it. The book was advertised as a longer version of her TED talk however I felt it was more like an autobiography. The book tells the story of Amanda's life but it also shows the ways she has asked her fans and the online community for help, from finding somewhere to sleep to finding musicians to play on stage with her. Throughout the book Amanda shows that it is okay to ask for help, as she puts it “take the donut“. I genuinely believe that if you want your blog or any other artistic endeavour to become a full time job you should read this book.

No ground-breaking revelations for someone who follows [a:Amanda Palmer 1010543 Amanda Palmer https://d.gr-assets.com/authors/1297527121p2/1010543.jpg] around the internet, but a lovely chatty-style book. Very readable, enjoyable, and frank, with a few tears thrown in because of reasons.