Stoner

Wow.

I picked this book up from Three Lives a while after reading, and loving, Augustus, but it never bubbled to the top of my “to read” list. Maybe I was putting it off because I sensed it would be a tough read. Not challenging, but sad and depressing. But I brought it home to Vermont with me for quarantine, along with stacks of other books. One night I let my mom pick out my next book, and she picked this one out, and so I dove in.

Yes - it was sad, and lonely, and difficult to read at times. I had to pause during the last 10 pages of the book, fighting back the contemplation of my own mortality as I watched William try to make sense of his life.

But it's also a very inspiring book, in a way. There's a fundamental dignity in living according to a certain set of values, even if you don't always measure up to those values. We'll all have moments when we're petty, or heartless, or not present, and that's ok. And we'll all end life with goals unachieved, maybe even some regrets.

I've been out of college for exactly 10 years this weekend. In the past ten years, a lot of things have gone right, well past my expectations even. And other things have not been so rosy, and there have been struggles. Which is probably a universal experience. I've always tried to live with purpose, to find meaning in what I do, and to do things well, even when no one recognizes them, and this book elevates that, makes it seem almost noble. Definitely something I'll want to revisit in the future, I imagine.