Stix & Stone

A story that has acutely captured the beat of the urban life on its lowest level. For the people who have hit rock bottom or were born in poverty, this harsh but realistic picture of survival is actually daily occurrence. The book is focused on heavy triggering topics : internal and external homophobia, domestic violence and abuse, child endangerment and neglect/described as happened in the past/, prostitution, physical assault/once, on page, not between the MCs/. It's slow burn, enemy-to-lovers story that hides a well of pain, despair, tons of angst and even an interesting demisexual awakening. I had really hard time connecting to one of the main characters not because I didn't sympathise to all the pain he went through, all the struggles and raging emotional turmoil that was eating him alive from the inside out but because I couldn't see the real fight in him, the will to live not just exist. Physically he escaped the hell hole he was raised into, but emotionally and mentally he didn't move on. Stone surrounded himself with a wall of self loathing and his hatred towards the people around him was really impressive. And one of these people was Stix, aka Nico Jamieson. Nico is a character you just can't help but love from the first page - smiling, warm, good-hearted. People like him, who never know if there will be a next morning for them, carry within them a special bright and fiery spark as well as silent understanding that every breathing moment should be cherished and lived to the fullest. Life has not handed Nico the nicest of gifts - a crippling chronic illness that severely diminishes his quality of life and job opportunities, and a father who has used his coming out as queer as an excuse to leave the family, thus placing the pressure of providing for his mother and sister on the shoulders of his 19-year-old self. But Nico wasn't deterred in the slightest - a prostitute by day and bartender by night, he was unstoppable ball of lightness and sunshine that imprinted on the people surrounding him in the best ways possible. The only exception was his perpetually scowling neighbour Stone who radiated disapproval of his lifestyle. But somehow, somewhere in some way, I couldn't pinpoint, Stix managed to slip through the cracks of Stone's shield and widen the fissures. Nico was the catalyst of the real change for Stone - aka Damien Sloan, the awakening of the nightmare Damien was perpetually living into and never managed to leave behind, the so needed healing touch. Stix gave him something really precious - an anchor, a safe harbour, a feeling of belonging and being valued. For me it wasn't a well balanced relationship or the best choice for Nico as a partner, but hey, it worked for them so it's totally fine!