Shameless: A Case for Not Feeling Bad About Feeling Good
Ratings19
Average rating4.2
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Raw, intimate, and timely—a no-holds-barred celebration of our bodies that flies in the face of antiquated ideas about sex and gender. “A triumph.”—Glennon Doyle • “One of the most important, life-changing books I’ve ever read.”—Rachel Held Evans, author of Searching for Sunday and Inspired Negative messages about sex come from all corners of society: from the church, from the media, from our own families. As a result, countless people have suffered pain, guilt, and judgment. In this instant bestseller, Nadia Bolz-Weber unleashes her critical eye and her vulnerable yet hopeful soul on the harmful conversations about sex that have fed our shame. Bolz-Weber offers no simple amendments or polite compromises. Instead, this modern-day reverend calls for an inclusivity that empowers us to be loyal to people and, perhaps most important, ourselves. “Christianity is not a program for avoiding mistakes,” she writes. “It is a faith of the guilty.” With an alternative understanding of Scripture passages that have been weaponized against Christians for decades, Bolz-Weber reminds us that sexual flourishing can and should be for all genders, all bodies, and all humans. She shares stories, poetry, and Scripture that wage war on perpetual anxiety around sex by celebrating sexuality in all its forms and recognizing it for the gift that it is. If you’ve been mistreated, confused, angered, and/or wounded by shaming sexual messages, this one is for you.
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Popular Reviews
Reviews with the most likes.
The first words that come to my mind to describe “Shameless” by Nadia Bolz-Weber are “pastoral, healing, water for a dry and weary soul.”
The money quote for me came in the introduction:
“We should not be more loyal to an idea, a doctrine, or an interpretation of a Bible verse than we are to people. If the teachings of the church are harming the bodies and spirits of people, we should rethink those teachings.” (5)
Right after that, Nadia reminds us that 500 years ago Martin Luther took a close look at the harm in his parishioners' spiritual lives. In his case he focused on the damage that came from them trying to fulfill sacramental obligations that the church said would appease an angry God. Luther was bold and daring enough to believe that Christians could find freedom from the harm their church and done to them: “Luther was less loyal to the teachings of the church than he was to people, and this helped spark what is now known as the Protestant Reformation.” (5)
I also loved the illustration of the irrigation system that only waters in a circular pattern, leaving the corners and edges of the farmland without water. Nadia says this book is for those un-watered places, for the ones who do not fit inside the small circle of the church's behavior codes. “This book [...] is water, I hope, for those planted in the corners. [...] This book is for the young Evangelical who silently disagrees with the church's stance on sex and sexual orientation, yet feels alone in that silence. This book is for anyone who wonders, even subconsciously: Has the church obsessed over this too much? Do we really think we've gotten it right?”
Nadia writes, “our sexual and gender expressions are as integral to who we are as our religious upbringings are. To separate these aspects of ourselves—to separate life as a sexual being from a life with God—is to bifurcate our psyche, like a musical progression that never comes to resolution.”
Nadia makes me laugh several times throughout the book also: “So if the traditional teachings of the church around sex and the body have caused no harm in the lives of the people around you, and have even provided them a plan for true human flourishing, then this book probably is not for you. (Good news, though: the Christian publishing world is your oyster. There you'll find no lack of books to uphold and even help you double down on your beliefs.)”
She made me laugh again at the end of chapter 5. In this chapter Nadia talks about the day that she and several of her parishioners worked together to write their “Denver Statement” in response to “The Nashville Statement”. She then showed us snippets from both. The very end of The Nashville Statement says, “WE DENY that the Lord's arm is too short to save or that any sinner is beyond his reach.” The counter line from The Denver Statement says, “WE DENY that God is a boy and has actual arms.”
Great Insight
What a great book about sex and faith. Who knew the two go hand in hand. I see myself in many of the situations discussed as I was raised in a Catholic church and Catholic school. And then being in college when the Aids epidemic was happening. Sometimes we don't know what messes us up. But this book helps the healing in knowing you are not alone.
Great Insight
What a great book about sex and faith. Who knew the two go hand in hand. I see myself in many of the situations discussed as I was raised in a Catholic church and Catholic school. And then being in college when the Aids epidemic was happening. Sometimes we don't know what messes us up. But this book helps the healing in knowing you are not alone.
