Radical Acceptance

This is, like, a very important and beautiful book to me. Tara Brach takes clear aim at the voices in our heads that tell us that we don't deserve happiness, that keep us stuck in our wounds, and try and keep us disconnected from our true feelings because we worry that if we open ourselves up to them they might drown us, like one more passenger on a lifeboat that's barely above water.

Writing about self-help is vulnerable to me because it's like shouting Hi! I have all these problems. And they are also easy to make fun of, and not even in a mean-spirited way. There is something a little goofy about looking to Buddhism for answers (as an American, given the cultural history of “looking to the East” for enlightenment) or taking in meditations with exercises like saying hello to your pain. There's a real and sad truth to texts like these: I turn to them when I need to hear them. I allow them in when trying to muddle through endless grey days without compassion for myself is worse than trying to do something about it.

Self-help/growth books are one of those things where some work for some folks and others work for other folks, so I wouldn't just blanket recommend it to everyone. The most I can say is that if it seems like it might contain something you're trying to find, you owe it to yourself to open it up and see if it is.

Fantastic book on mindfulness and emotional development. Tara Brach writes with unmatchable clarity and compassion, drawing from both Buddhist and Western psychology. There's a lot that can be drawn from this book also for readers who do not consider themselves religious/spiritual - I would recommend this to everyone who is interested in learning how to sit with your emotions and accept themselves and their life as it is.

A solid entry for both the Buddhism and self-help/self-improvement shelves, though I found it slightly missing the mark for me on both. Then again, both spirituality and what's therapeutic can be deeply personal things, and so I don't fault the author, Brach, for this. If you're vaguely into Buddhism or meditation, and vaguely in need of a self-helpy pick-me-up (or just into self-improvement!), then I'd encourage you to pick this up and give it a try.

Some pros:
- I was largely skeptical of the dharma in this book, as it was of the Mahayana Buddhism (i.e. Tibetan) strain, and thus stressed things like compassion, lovingkindness meditation, and all sorts of gooey stuff that I just ain't into! Phooey! (Said the evil Buddhist.) What can I say?! I like the austerity of Zen. Anyway, despite this arm's-length skepticism, I found myself getting inspired to “just pause” (as Brach encourages) during each day and thus, indeed, remember to practice that whole mindfulness business. So useful!
- Similarly, my meditation practice can sometimes become a bit like Shifu's - i.e. a bit forced, irritable, and totally counter-productive - but I enjoyed reading Brach's suggested meditations at the end of each chapter. I didn't do them as described (which should probably lead you to be skeptical of this review, since I didn't consume the book as intended), but did feel that they were interesting. I've put them down as something to try in the future.
- One thing I do gosh darn love about books like this is the examples of People Just Like You. This book was chock full of them, and I found myself unexpectedly moved by Person X dealing with Problem Y.
- Brach makes an excellent point of “social Buddhism” - i.e. we often get lost in a single-minded, solo pursuit of meditation and whatever, and forget that the real Buddhist practice is in how you interact with the lady at the checkout counter. Or the annoying guy on the bus. Or your loved one, who is also being annoying. Etc. A great reminder, and a great (subtle) call for greater engagement with the mundane and social and distinctly-not-sacred.

Some cons:
- Not many, though I did find Brach's Use of Capitalization a little jarring, especially when she'd end certain sections with, “And that's why you should use Radical Acceptance!” or “But when Person X did Radical Acceptance, all was well!” (I paraphrase, obviously.) Repeating the title of a movie in the movie always leads to some lols, and the same was somewhat true here: it started feeling like a registered trademark.
- I'm not sure why this missed the mark for me, but I know that I wanted something a bit more. Perhaps a bit more self-deprecating humor on the part of Brach? Perhaps a few fewer Rumi quotes? And y'all know I be up on my Rumi quotes (see my own Goodreads profile). It just felt very New Agey Book Club - a book club, I hasten to add, that I have long since belonged to as well. (Let he who is without sin, blah blah.) At least, Me of 2004 was all into Rumi, Hafiz, Thich Nhat Hanh and that transcendental stuff. But I guess I wanted to see less of that, which is predictable, and more... weird, innovative, inspired American Buddhism? e.g. Why not quote Studs Terkel?! You know, there must be loads of Buddhisty goodness in all those Studs Terkel oral histories. But, again, this is just my personal opinion, and aaalll this stuff is just personal opinion.