My Absolute Darling

It was a rollercoaster read but definitely a lot of comfortable parts I wish i would have known about prior. Definitely would heed warning about trigger warnings about abuse, and rape are the big ones.

I read this in 2 sittings, and it's been a while since I was this eager to run home to dive back into a book (last was probably Ferrante's [b:The Neapolitan Novels 26828169 The Neapolitan Novels Elena Ferrante https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1443412457s/26828169.jpg 46858867]). Turtle is 14 and she could be a heroine in a postapocalyptic future, but she lives in the here and now. Emotionally isolated from society she grows up with her survivalist misogynist abusive father, who teaches her how to handle shotguns and the wild nature of the Californian coast. Then a window opens up in the form of a friendship with same-aged teenage boys, and Turtle needs to learn how to detach from her father while trying to make sense of all the horrible things she's learned to endure. Trigger warnings, this is a dark haunting tale, but it's so absorbing and Turtle is magnificent, and all the side characters are memorable, and you'll be on the edge of your seat. Plus the writing is fantastic.

Brutal, soul-destroying, distressing to the point that sometimes I couldn't bring myself to read any further. This is the story of Julia “Turtle” Alveston, a fourteen-year-old girl, trapped in a life of abuse.

Tallent goes into gruesome detail of what Turtle is put through and how her terrible upbringing has wrecked intolerable damage not only to her physically, but also her inner core as a person. She can be both angry and timid, defiant and meek, loving and cruel. Turtle is a character the reader both fears for terribly, cheers on, and you are willing to forgive when she acts out, doubts herself or can't stop herself from loving her monster of a father. The cycle of abuse has done such damage that often Turtle will believe she is deserving of his treatment, blaming herself over and over again. Indeed, all the characters, not just Turtle, are complex and well-formed, and although at times the story felt so shocking to the point of unbelievablity, I was impressed by how Tallent has created characters that reacted realistically to some atrocious cruelties.

The fact that I couldn't always bring myself an awful lot all at once may have affected the flow of reading this somewhat, but I do think some parts were stronger than others. (Mild spoilers:) The first half was possibly the strongest part of the novel, with a darkly intense and claustrophobic atmosphere, formed by the focus on Turtle and Martin, without much intrusion from any of the minor character. The middle, where Turtle briefly experiences a taste of freedom, is a welcome relief, before the fast-paced and deeply brutal conclusion. Overall, I'd say the beginning is so strong, but if you're struggling at the start, it may not be worth continuing, just because Tallent does not hold back and reading the ending was no easier!

This book is hard to read emotionally, one that left me squirming and reeling. This makes it difficult to know who to recommend it to. If you are somewhat prepared and feel you can handle just how bleak this book can be, then this is a fantastic, well-written debut full of depth.