Mindsight

Key takeaways:

- Saying “I think” or “I feel” is a lot different than saying “I am”. “I feel stressed” instead of “I am stressed” allows us to recognize those thoughts/feelings as activities of our brains and think about them more objectively. It allows us to reframe our experiences and have more control over our actions. We can perceive a thought, instead of just have it.
- When adults perceive and reflect back the feelings of a child, it allows the child to understand their own mind with clarity. This is the foundation of mindsight.
- The tripod of reflection: Openness, observation, and objectivity. To regain control of the mind after we have lost it we need the power of reflection that is at the heart of mindsight. Mindsight emerges as our communication with others and with ourselves, allows us to reflect on who we really are and what is going on inside us.
- Reflection requires an attunement to the self that is supportive and kind, not judgmental.
- Secure attachment means your child will miss you when you leave the room, actively greet you when you return, often with physical contact, but then quickly returns to normal and can continue to play without you. They will be easy to soothe and quick to return to their previous activities.
- The brain responds to the focus of attention. It can change, throughout the lifetime.
- Receptive vs reactive. When someone tells you how they are feeling, can you be receptive to it and try to understand, or do you react? Specifically with feedback.
- Listening to someone is not just trying to hear what they are saying, but feeling what they are feeling.
- The ‘mind' isn't just the brain. You have a nervous system that connects your whole body. A knot in your stomach, tightness in your chest, flushed cheeks, etc., are all part of your ‘mind'. Listen to those signals, they are telling you something important.