Love, Loss, and What We Ate: A Memoir

Was this book perfect? No, but I loved every second I got to spend in Lakshmi's company. I was a big fan of Top Chef several years ago, though admittedly we dropped the show for probably logistical reasons I can't remember. Padma writes the way she talks, and I could hear her voice clearly throughout. She tells stories the way you would talk to a friend - it's not always linear, and sometimes you digress and have to come back to your main point after you got distracted for ten minutes, but you're still glad to be in that friend's company and to hear what's going on in their life.

It seems from some reviews that a big draw of this was to get the dirt on Lakshmi and Salman Rushdie's divorce, to which - look, I like celebrity gossip as well as the next person, but that's not the kind of gossip I prefer. I don't find glee in other peoples' pain, and the way she talked about the relationship and divorce - oof. RAW. I was ready to make a judgment about her having an affair with a married man (as Rushdie was not yet divorced from his third wife when he and Padma got together), but the way she writes, I decided right then and there, in one of the early chapters, this was worthy of five stars. I wrote in one of my status updates that she doesn't seem to care whether or not one agrees with her choices, and I stand by that. There's a lot here, and she doesn't hide the hard things. And there are a LOT of hard things - the crippling endometriosis that went undiagnosed for so long, having a foot in two countries and never feeling quite “home,” the divorce and attempted reconciliation, the fear of infertility followed by an unexpected “geriatric” miracle pregnancy, the legal situation regarding her daughter's birth father and custody, the rapid decline in her lover's health as he learned he had brain cancer... it's a lot. She writes about it all beautifully.

Mesmerizing.

I only knew of Padma Lakshmi due to her work on Top Chef, but that was enough to get me to buy and eventually read this book. In it, she paints the story of her life beautifully, even during the worst of tragedies. This is a very well told autobiography, even if you've never heard of her before. Very highly recommended.

Well-written and interesting, particularly the sections about her childhood in India and New York. I wouldn't have read this if not for the endometriosis connection (what a connection to have with someone!), and I wish there had been a bit more about that, but this is a memoir, not a medical treatise. Lakshmi writes really well about the anger and frustration and disconnection from others that comes with any chronic pain condition. And there are bonus recipes!

Imagine sitting with a new dear friend, sharing a meal and childhood stories, sometimes laughing, sometimes crying, asking “then what”, and leaving mesmerized and amazed at the resilience a soul can possess. That is this memoir. I've watched Top Chef and have always been impressed with Padma's grace and poise, even while eating something less than appetizing (hunk of fat, anyone?). Beyond being beautiful, Padma guides the chefs and the show through each season with humor and a gentle touch. I decided to read “Love, Loss, and What We Ate” partly because of the title, and partly because of the revelation that she'd been molested as a child. As a survivor, I was dying to know how she came out on the other side. I got so much more. There is an immediacy and intimacy to this book, that feels like she is just sitting at my table, having a cup of tea, which I think is really remarkable for anyone sharing their story.