In My Time of Dying

In June of 2020, Sebastian Junger nearly dies. After finally making his way to the hospital, his blood pressure is at rock bottom, he has massive internal bleeding of an unknown origin, and doctors are trying to insert a catheter into the side of his neck. In the midst of this, a void appears to open up to him, and then above the void, his father – who is dead – also appears, and communicates to Sebastian that it's okay, he can go into the void.

The younger Junger does not die, though, and In My Time of Dying is the account of the author's near death experience and his subsequent obsession with the vision of his father. In exploring research and accounts of life review (think: “my life flashed before my eyes”) and near death apparitions, he stumbles into an existential crisis.

Junger's existential crisis eventually brings to bear fundamental questions about existence itself, and in keeping with his self-described atheistic, rational upbringing, these questions soon have him swimming in the deep, fraught waters of quantum physics. He throws an arm around the reader and pulls us along on this trip, an experience I found compelling, but also fear will lose the interest of many. Discussions of Plancks-lengths, quantum of action, and Schrodinger's cat are not the most digestible reading.

In My TIme of Dying captured my attention completely and rattled around my mind during breaks in reading. Junger's story and subsequent seeking are deeply personal, yet encompass timeless universal concerns. He seems to take great pains to shrink his own confirmation bias and trade it for a willingness to consider the potential origins, purposes, and meanings behind ideas and visions of an afterlife.

I enjoyed this small book, and rate it highly, though one issue keeps me from a full-throated five star review. Junger's conclusion, while scientific in nature, is not testable, repeatable, or observable. He knows this, and yet seemingly avoids or cannot bring himself to say the F-word...faith. While I have no issue with the author's adoption of an unobservable end-of-life belief, Junger misses the mark by presenting himself a rationalist, adopting an irrational conclusion, and making no admission of the leap of faith required to do so. I feel this is why the book ends rather abruptly. Junger's suspension of confirmation bias can only go so far. It's a gem of a book and recommended reading nonetheless.