I'm Glad My Mom Died
Ratings1,205
Average rating4.5
CW: Eating Disorders, Codependency, Parental Abuse, Narcissistic Personality Disorder
This book is a stark reminder that abusers can look like well-meaning parents/significant others to everyone else, but it doesn't stop them from being abusers even after death. Parents should never be put on a pedestal just because they're parents because they're flawed just like everyone else. Yet, this book is also McCurdy starting the hard work of owning her truth, processing, and overcoming. What a powerful read that inspires grace and self-reflection.
This is a really insightful and well written account of a heartbreaking relationship. With the title of this book (which is a great title), I was expecting the entire thing to be just a scathing indictment of her mother, but its a lot more complicated than that.
The book is written in such a way that her mother's pattern of abuse and manipulation is obvious, but from Jennette McCurdy's perspective at the time when believing in her mother and making her happy was important to her (and still is to this day, to some extent). This was really revealing and deeply affected me, as McCurdy walks through key moments in her life and I had to try to understand how her mother could possibly behave in the way that she does and sympathize with McCurdy's inability to do anything about it.
I'm not necessarily a big memoir reader, but sometimes when I read them they are a bit scattershot, covering a lot of different areas of a person's life with varying degrees of interest. This book is a lot more laser focused on its thesis as described by its title, and I find that to be a lot more engaging.
damn her mom, the ‘creator' and so many people in her life sucked... yikes. the writing was well done, I made me uncomfortable multiple times, Jenette had quite some issues on her own many developed because of the abuse, but wow... the acting industry sucks, especially fo children, I hate it. it sucks more because I liked Sam and Cat as a kid and seeing how much she was going through at the time is hard.
Fuuuck. I was not expecting that. I got this from the library because of the hype and I don't often do audiobooks because my brain doesn't seem to retain information delivered aurally but I'm glad I heard this in the author's voice. It's harrowing to hear what she went through; it's laid out in such a basic way, without caveats or excuses, that the trauma is obvious but never devolves into self-pity.
This book was exceptional. I usually don't write reviews but this book made me want to write one. I have always been a Jennette fan and I was excited to read the book. I got the book on audio the minute I heard that she was the one reading it. That was the best decision I made. She reads the book with such emotion and depth, you can hear all of her feelings in her voice. The anger, pain, love, idolization, and confusion of her life all in one. I am not a memoir kind of girlie but this has by far been one of the best books I've read this year.
Jeannette strikes the perfect balance between portraying her childhood innocence while reflecting on how impactful her abuse and trauma was as a child. She goes into detail about hard topics and brings inquisitive and funny insights into her life. The story telling makes this book impossible to put down and the topics make it hard to keep going. One of the best books I've read.
(4.5, rounding up.) Super intense but so good - I need to reread it because the chapters are so short I found myself reading the book faster than I wanted to, almost by accident. It's hard to say I “enjoyed” a memoir about growing up with an abusive mom, but Jennette's voice is so strong and direct and strangely funny, even when talking about horrible things. I was a few years too old for her generation of Nickelodeon shows, so I wasn't familiar with Jennette before reading this, but I'm definitely rooting for her and keeping an eye out for what she does next.
A note: if parental abuse/mental illness/substance abuse/eating disorders are triggers or difficult topics for you, please take care of yourself. This book is very good and very smart about those things, but it is also very intense.
I read this multiple times! After I read it, I got the audiobook and listened to it multiple times while doing other things. Her narration really brings the humor across in the book and is darkly ironic and detached from a serious subject matter. Jennette is a brave person and a great writer who is able to articulate the parts of our psyche we normally struggle to name, which scratched a weird itch in my brain.
This book relays the issues of covert emotional abuse, unhealthy family relationships, a fractured sense of self, people pleasing, and eating disorders, in a way that is somehow both enraging, entertaining, and easy to understand. The codependence we form with unhealthy relationships and how we twist ourselves to fit them is described, but also the freedom of breaking those bonds.
I didn't read this physically but I was with my mom while she listened to it. I only heard bits and pieces of it but she is a brilliant author. Wise beyond her years. It's such a heartbreaking story that's writing so beautifully.
This book definitely lives up to the hype. Well written, engaging and balancing pith with pathos, it really is more of a psychological journey of healing than a comedy. There is wit, but it was the insight that grabbed me.
One-Sentence book review
A very raw look into family abuse, and the lengths we go to both manipulate and please others.
Summary, thoughts and notesIn this memoir, Jennette McCurdy talks about her early childhood, how she got her start with her acting career, and how her mother was the main controlling force behind every decision in her life. The book continues until McCurdy's adulthood, her mother's death, and the consequences/fallout after her passing. The book is very raw and personal. I listened to the audiobook, narrated by the author, and you can tell it's her own voice telling all of these stories. She even get choked up at certain points, which just emphasizes the impact these events had on her life.
Themes and Character NotesThe author touches on some heavy subjects throughout the book, the abuse she suffered from her mother, her experiences with eating disorders, and alcoholism. It's a deep dive into the world of child actors and how our parents can sometimes be the source of trauma or emotional scarring we can carry into adulthood.
What Worked, What Didn'tI appreciate how open the author was in this book, it's not easy to talk about many of the things she touches on, from her abuse to struggles with alcohol and eating disorders, it's a very eye-opening experience to see the world from her perspective. The writing style helped bring forward the idea that it really is McCurdy's words we're reading/listening to, and not some ghostwriter, it reads like a friend talking to you about her life, or how I feel some therapists would feel during a session with a patient.On the other hand, the tone of the book might feel unpolished for the same reasons, especially if you're used to memoirs with a more traditional structure or professional voice.
Personal Recommendation
I knew next to nothing about the author other than she appeared on iCarly in Nickelodeon, which I never really watched as a kid. Nevertheless, I found this to be a fascinating and eye-opening read. if you are sensitive to topics such as child abuse, eating disorders, and alcoholism, you may want to approach this book with caution, if, however, you want to take a deep dive into the world of child actors in Hollywood and the effect that childhood trauma can have well into adulthood, this would be a great book for you.
Damn, this book is wild. Great description of narcissistic, abusive mother and what that can do to a child.
If you're planning to read this book, do yourself a favor and choose the audiobook version. Jennette's own narration adds depth and color to her experiences, making everything feel (even more) incredibly real.
Most memoirs I read in the past fall into one of three categories: either they're just listing facts like a history book, they're a journey of introspection and growth for the author, or they're exposing some big secret or scandal. This book, however, doesn't really fit neatly into any of these boxes. Jennette McCurdy chose to write entirely in the present tense, which was an unusual choice for me. At times, it made connecting with her emotional growth a bit challenging, especially when some chapters jumped days and others years, making the narrative feel a little fragmented.
Despite this, McCurdy's story is extremely raw and unfiltered, which really drew me in. It was deeply personal, almost as if I was witnessing her private, painful moments firsthand. To be honest, at some points it felt a bit like just trauma porn. Don't get me wrong—I enjoy other people's miseries as much as anyone else, and reading this made me feel slightly voyeuristic. It also made me wonder about the role this book might be playing in her healing process. But then again, who cares? I'm not her psychiatrist. I'm okay consuming the story of her pain as entertainment, though I'm left with a nagging feeling that perhaps this book isn't the healthiest route for her mental recovery. Again, what do I know?
It's a powerful book with some heavy topics, so definitely check for trigger warnings first. Overall, I ended up really appreciating this memoir, primarily because of the strong connection and empathy I felt toward Jennette and her journey.
I'm glad her mom died, too.
Jennette McCurdy is hilarious. Her mom is the textbook "living through her kid" Hollywood parent, and it's not comfortable. But the way she tells her story is fantastic. She communicates her innermost thoughts in an incredibly transparent, non-judgmental way, while at the same time highlighting how absurd her damaged thought process was through an excellent sense of comedic timing and structure.
This story could easily come across as incredibly dark, because it is, and in many cases similar situations have turned out with dark ends as well. Fortunately, Jennette made it through and got the help she needed to grow into an incredibly healthy person. Both how broken she was, and the fact that she's better now, come across crystal clear just through the way she tells the series of stories. I am generally not a fan of memoirs, but I'm glad I made an exception for this book.
I forgot how much I liked this genre and this book was really eye-opening to me.
Fantastic memoir here, and I don't really fuck with memoirs. McCurdy has a great voice for reading books, and this is paced super well while making me feel insane for watching iCarly + not watching the spinoff, and just generally making me really rethink my relationship to live-action shows from my youth. The fact that this came out before/around the time that all those things about Schneider came out (and that limited series) is interesting- does it take away McCurdy's agency in being careful what she said about Schneider, or does it give her more power?
Very interesting to read about Jennette's experiences, which are completely different from mine, and I struggle to relate to.
I'm glad I read this book.
Summary: Former actress Jennette McCurdy rests her shocking autobiography on the axis of her mother’s death: from birth to age 21, Jennette saw her life (including her reluctant pursuit of an acting career) largely directed by her mother, and after her mom’s death in 2013, she experienced a kind of unraveling and rebuilding, the unraveling having been largely spurred by behaviors and attitudes she had developed as the result of her mother’s influence.
I would recommend listening to the audiobook read by the author.
Growing up, iCarly was one of my favourite shows and I loved Jennette's acting. I was a bit apprehensive picking this up due to the fact that I've never read any memoirs before, but I'm glad this was my first.
Jennette's life was sad but I'm happy to know she's healing and telling her story. I don't have any words, I can only say that her writing is phenomenal
4.5 stars!