If He Had Been with Me
Ratings112
Average rating3.6
Dnf at 10% then jumped to the end. This book had such a strange writing style. 1st person present tense but I???ve never felt so detached, possibly because there was hardly any dialogue.
I am so heartbroken right now...
I liked how it felt like real life, with its nuances... it shows how people come in and out of our lives as we grow and there's even a quote stating that you don't need to have a fight with your childhood best friend to stop being best friends, sometimes you just grow apart. In this case that turning point in Finn and Autumn's frienship is talked about through both POVs so I really appreciated that, since the book is all narrated through Autumn's POV it is natural to take her side of the story as the fact of what happened and when Finny exposed his side of things it felt all the most relatable because that's real life: we remember things one way and others may do so way different, that's when misunderstandings happen.
It became apparent pretty early on that depression and toxic relationships was going to be the theme of the book, and man ... Jamie is a walking red flag, I just wanted Finn to step in for Autumn bc I thought she wasn't going to do it herself, I'm glad they didn't end up together.
I think depression was handled well, and then again, the person usually doesn't know they are depressed or deny it altogether as Autumn did throughout the book, even her thoughts and actions after Finny's passing make it evident for the reader that she is indeed depressed, and for her it isn't something to be concerned about, it's just a natural course to follow... to me that's what makes depression very scary for the family more than to the person who suffers it.
The ending just had me sobbing, at first I thought it was very hurried but thinking better about it I think it is not about giving a happy ending, the heartache is more intense just because we feel they didn't get to live their love as they were meant to, but there's a little piece of Finn left in this world as a sign of hope for Autumn and The Mothers, a reason to live and love again.
Solid 5 star for me, I don't know if I'll ever get over this book. 💔
This waffles between a 2.5 and a 3 for me. I think it has strength in capturing the trickiness of figuring out who you are as a teen & the pull of doing what you really want versus what's acceptable or expected (or edgy). However, sometimes I felt like the character do not act like teenagers at all, especially the male main character.
Additionally, spoilers here- I don't love the way teen pregnancy is handled. It felt weirdly disconnected from the current times and almost romanticized in a way? Missed opportunities for discussions of safe sex and consequences of choices.
Also- I really dislike how it seems like we're supposed to blame “the other girl” for most of the bad in this book.
It's not an unpleasant read, I just kinda felt like it was meh.
I read this in one day after procrastinating on a month long buddy read. So it's a fairly easy read, which is sometimes nice.
Other people said they were confused by the opening, which confuses me. I thought it was pretty clear what was going to happen. But, by the end I was still hoping for some divine intervention or twist that would change the outcome, which means I must have connected to the characters at some extent.
Sometimes the difference between two stars and three stars is “would I read it again?” in this case the answer is no. Ultimately, the book isn't my style, and there is nothing particularly compelling or enjoyable enough that makes me want to return to it anytime soon.
3.5/5 ⭐
I recently reread this so that I could refresh my memory before reading the sequel and I have some thoughts. I don't like the writing. Some people like that it's super simple but everyone talked so grammatically correct and it kind of took me out of the book. I forgot about pretty much everything that happened in the book so most of the “plot twists” were a surprise all over again which was fun. But it felt like nothing really happened for a while as we were introducing characters and going through the high-school drama that I didn't care about eg. the whole table fight thing and all the other couples. It felt like the author was like “what if I wrote a book where one of them tragically dies at the end. That would be cool. Now what to put before that?” Ya know? I wish we got more of Finn and Autumn together. I see why we didn't but it was still disappointing to read all of this buildup of them liking each other and all the relationship drama for him to just die a day after they got together. Finn's death had me in tears. The first time I remember being kind of disappointed and not at all emotional but it hit different this time. I don't like that she wrote in the whole cheating on Sylvie plot point. I get that its “for the drama” or whatever but it still made me feel weird because I hate cheating trope. The ending with the whole suicide attempt pregnancy thing was a decent ending and I was satisfied. It didn't need a sequel just saying.
This was awful. She gives teenage girls a bad name. Autumn is one of the most annoying characters, let alone protagonists, i've ever read. I gave 0 shits about her. Can't even begin to understand why either Jamie or Finn would have feelings for her.
Read this on the plane and left it at the hotel. Absolute garbage. And don't even get me started on the awful grammar. How did this even get published?? And there's a follow up? What an absolute waste of paper.
My heart went on such a rollercoaster while reading this book. My heart swelled as Autumn navigated high school and getting to know herself and love. But my heart also broke for her multiple times throughout the story as well. I loved both Finny and Autumn as the main characters!!! There was such great character development. This was a beautiful coming of age that explored a lot of young love and friendship. I've always heard good things about this book and it did not disappoint! 4.5 stars!
This book would have been everything to me if I read when I was in high school. Yet, it was still impactful. I read this in one setting and could not get over how engrossing and real it was. We follow Finny and Autumn throughout high school with flashbacks to their childhood and watch them experience life together and how they grew apart. Autumn was relatable, but I LOVED Finny. While it is foreshadowed in chapter 1 what happens in the end, it was still completely devastating. To think that at that point Finny and Autumn would have finally been together after so long. This was the ultimate friends to lovers/right person wrong time story. Is she pregnant???? Did she survive her grief???? I'm glad I read this when I did, I couldn't imagine waiting for a sequel. But I cannot wait to read from Finny's POV and get the entire flushed out story
I listened to this book while I painted my 16-year-old's bedroom. The book is centered around two kids who grow up next door to each other. Their moms are best friends, destined to be together always. That is, until, they start growing up and deciding their own paths. They each encounter typical pre-teen, and then teen growing pains as they try to find their respective places to fit in. The book is about their paths through this time of uncertainty.
- Although I knew that Jamie was cheating with Sasha it still shocked me. It is so Interesting how guys can lose feelings quickly. This relates so much to reality and I loved that.
2. I don't think I could ever get over the fact that finny died right after he got autumn, like whyyy?
I really don't think I can get over this book anytime soon. Laura did a really great job with this book.
3,5/5⭐️
Super cute verhaal tussen Finny en Autumn. Ik had echt het hele boek zo'n cozy/schattig gevoel. Het einde was voor mij alleen echt heel erg gehaast. Toen ik het uit had was ik zo van: “oh, huh nou dit was het al”. Dat vond ik echt heel erg jammer, want dat heeft de rating flink omlaag gehaald....
Disappointed.
I was looking for a sad book, but the sad part doesn't happen untill the very last 3 chapters or so and it was very,very rushed and sloppy.
The rest of the book was a set up. I feel like I barely got to know Finny.
I feel like the fact that we only get Finny and Autumn in the last couple of pages was intentional. I really felt it in my bones the regret they both had of not getting together sooner and then when everything happened it just magnified it. For me the most heartbreaking part of this story was the lost time so yeah even if I would've liked to see more Finn and less dickhead Jamie, I kinda get the point.
Honestly, a very sad book. Not a ton of positive elements. Ended with me feeling very sad after.
I was influenced by BookTok to read this book. All the reviewers said it was gut wrenching and extremely sad but I didn't get any of those emotions from this book.
Autumn and Finny are best friends from birth and we are taken on the journey of their friendship during high school. This is your typical friendship to relationship story and the plot was very predictable. I gave this book three stars because it kept my interest but Autumn's character frustrated me, she was so oblivious to such blatant clues from her friends and family and it was very unrealistic and off putting. Finny's POV isn't given too much and I understand there's a second book with his POV but I'm not sure I'll read it. The ending was rushed and I wish the story focused more on what happens after we get the twist.
All in all if you're looking for a cute love story with some harsh realities that are tossed in as an afterthought then I recommend this book.
gut wrenching
Started off slowly but oh man I got hooked and couldn't put it down. Just when I thought I figured out the ending there was another twist that made me cry harder than the first
Literally a million stars it was so good the ending broke me but omg I love them so much ❤️