Hogwarts: An Incomplete and Unreliable Guide

We begin just as any witch or wizard on his or her way to Hogwarts would – at London's King's Cross. It's a bustling, cavernous train station filled with busy commuters – so busy that they don't notice people laden with trunks, owls, cats and robes run at a ticket barrier and disappear.




... just as the human mind cannot comprehend time, so it cannot comprehend the damage that will ensue if we presume to tamper with its laws.




THE BALLAD OF NEARLY HEADLESS NICK BY J.K. ROWLING

It was a mistake any wizard could make

Who was tired and caught on the hop

One piffling error, and then, to my terror, I found myself facing the chop.

Alas for the eve when I met Lady Grieve

A-strolling the park in the dusk!

She was of the belief I could straighten her teeth

Next moment she'd sprouted a tusk.

I cried through the night that I'd soon put her right

But the process of justice was lax;

They'd brought out the block, though they'd mislaid the rock

Where they usually sharpened the axe.

Next morning at dawn, with a face most forlorn,

The priest said to try not to cry,

‘You can come just like that, no, you won't need a hat,'

And I knew that my end must be nigh.

The man in the mask who would have the sad task

Of cleaving my head from my neck,

Said ‘Nick, if you please, will you get to your knees,'

And I turned to a gibbering wreck.

‘This may sting a bit' said the cack-handed twit

As he swung the axe up in the air,

But oh the blunt blade!

No difference it made,

My head was still definitely there.

The axeman he hacked and he whacked and he thwacked,

‘Won't be too long', he assured me,

But quick it was not, and the bone-headed clot

Took forty-five goes 'til he floored me.

And so I was dead, but my faithful old head

It never saw fit to desert me,

It still lingers on, that's the end of my song,

And now, please applaud, or you'll hurt me.