Hell, and God, and Nuns with Rulers

John Collings' book Hell and God and Nuns With Rulers, gives us a peek into the life of a teenage boy named Tristan. His parents are Catholic and have injected as much religion into his life as possible. He goes to Catholic school, attends church every Sunday, and is now taking classes to be confirmed in the Catholic Church.

Tristan meets a boy named Edward at a party. They kiss, he likes it. His reaction to the kiss scares him. His entire life his parents and church has taught him that he should find a nice woman to marry and have children with. He worries that his feelings towards this other boy are a sin. As much as he tries, he can't make his feelings go away. He decides to have an ‘inside the closet' relationship with Edward. He quickly learns that things are hard to keep secret. All it takes is one slip up and you are the new town scandal. Everyone knows about their relationship, even his parents. No one treats him the same anymore, his father can't tolerate being in the same room with him.

My thoughts:
I really enjoyed this book. The parts that talk about the pressures many Catholic teens feel were so familiar to me.

In first grade, we memorized the Our Father. In second grade, we learned everything we needed to know to receive the holy sacrament of Eucharist. The next year, we learned all about Mother Mary and topped it all off with Hail Mary—not the moment the Pittsburg Steelers made it to the Super Bowl, but the name of the prayer they said to make it there. In fourth grade, we worried ourselves sick about having to confess our sins for the first time. By the end of fifth grade, they forced us to memorize the Ten Commandments, and in sixth grade they asked us to not only to recite Apostle's Creed, but to understand it's meaning as well. I really struggled in the seventh grade...

I remember this too. My Catholic parents and teachers used God as a scare tactic to make me follow their rules. I was expected to be the perfect Catholic girl in every aspect of my life. I think some of the pressure is what turned me away from the religion the minute I was out of my parent's home.

Tristan's problems are far worse than mine ever were. This book gave me a realistic idea of how it must feel to be terrified of feelings you can't control. He feels happy when he is with Edward, but is a nervous wreck about the repercussions he might have face if he continues to have a relationship with him. How will his relationship with his parents, friends, and God come out after all of this? Is his attraction to other males a one time thing, or will he be like this forever?

Excerpts from the book that really stood out to me:

...”Have you had intercourse with that boy?” “Mom!” My dad sided with her. “Well, have you, Tristan?” “Dad, how could you ever think that? We've only gone on one date.” My dad turned away from me in digust. “Oh, but you've thought about having sex with that boy, haven't you?” I just sat there with nothing to say. Mostly, I just felt numb. My mom shook her head back and forth. “Tristan, where did you get this crazy idea about being gay? Television? Music? Public School?” “Mom, it has nothing to do with any of that. I just like boys.” My dad turned around to face me again, “No, Tristan, you do not just like boys. I will not have a gay son. Do you hear me? You are not gay. You're just going through some phase. We can fix you and you will want to be fixed.”

After this, his parent tell him he will be attending Sister Corregio's Apostolate to be taught how not to be gay.

This written from Tristan's point of view. The author is a very talented writer. He is an English teacher at an alternative high school in Colorado, the grammar in his writing is top notch.

I recommend this book to anyone who wants more insight into the conflict between religion and homosexuality. If you are greatly opposed to homosexuality you may find this book offensive.

Received through Goodreads First Reads