Happy: Why more or less everything is absolutely fine

This originally appeared at The Irresponsible Reader.
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Several weeks ago, I put a hold on this book from my Library. I was looking for some good Non-Fiction and this seemed along the lines of something a doctor was recommending. Also, the subtitle made me think I'd like it. I knew nothing about Brown or his expertise, but it seemed like a decent premise.

I guess I should start off with the Book Blurb (‘cuz you don't want me summarizing this one)

Everyone says they want to be happy. But that's much more easily said than done. What does being happy actually mean? And how do you even know when you feel it?

Across the millennia, philosophers have thought long and hard about happiness. They have defined it in many different ways and come up with myriad strategies for living the good life. Drawing on this vast body of work, in Happy Derren Brown explores changing concepts of happiness – from the surprisingly modern wisdom of the Stoics and Epicureans in classical times right up until today, when the self-help industry has attempted to claim happiness as its own. He shows how many of self-help's suggested routes to happiness and success – such as positive thinking, self-belief and setting goals – can be disastrous to follow and, indeed, actually cause anxiety. This brilliant, candid and deeply entertaining book exposes the flaws in these ways of thinking, and in return poses challenging but stimulating questions about how we choose to live and the way we think about death.

Happy aims to reclaim happiness and to enable us to appreciate the good things in life, in all their transient glory. By taking control of the stories we tell ourselves, by remembering that ‘everything's fine' even when it might not feel that way, we can allow ourselves to flourish and to live more happily.

The Secret

* And by end, I mean, roughly the 25% mark.

A Stoic guide to self-help

Happy takes a look at the ancient world's most zen philosophers – the Stoics – and asks what thinkers like Epicurus, Seneca and Marcus Aurelius can teach us about happiness. The answer according to Derren Brown? A great deal. Packed with insights into the robust and rational outlooks of these Greek and Roman sages, these blinks illuminate a vital chapter in the history of Western philosophy while showing us how we can lead better, more fulfilling lives today.

Derren Brown is a writer and television presenter best known for his 2000 series Mind Control, a fascinating and occasionally unnerving exploration of psychological manipulation. Brown is also the author of Tricks of the Mind and Confessions of a Conjurer.

This was one of the best books I've read in a long time. I'd award it 6* if I could.

Some of my notes:

The happiest among us are those who have learned to stop worrying about the things they can't control.
You can't buy your way to happiness; you can keep a lid on your temper; Twitter and Facebook make us miserable.
Stoicism builds on the insights of Epicureanism, and it can help us live more happily in a consumerist age.
Stoics, as the creed's followers are known, believe that the key to happiness is accepting life as it is rather than pursuing new pleasures or trying to avoid inevitable hardships.
Happiness isn't dependent on material goods – what really matters is how we feel about possessing or lacking certain things. Put differently, unrealistic ideas about what we need and deserve make us miserable. True happiness comes from accepting what we already have or can reasonably expect to acquire over the course of our lives.
Stoics argue that you can't change the world around you, but you can change how you react to it.
The cornerstone of Aurelius' Stoicism was a theory of human emotions. According to the philosophical emperor, emotions are anything but permanent and are constantly changing in reaction to external events.
The cause of those sudden turnarounds aren't objective facts “out there” in the world but the subjective stories we tell ourselves about our experiences.
External events and other people don't control our emotional reactions – we do.
You can't change the past, and dwelling on it makes you miserable. But it doesn't have to be this way.
Learning to let go of the things you can't control is a liberating experience.
Life is unpredictable. Like a ship on the high seas, we're rocked by the winds and waves of fortune. Accepting that is hard, and plenty of folks can't. They become obsessed with the idea of exercising control over every last detail of their lives as well as those around them. Stoics might sympathize with that urge but they ultimately reject it.
There are only two things we can control – our thoughts and our actions. Everything else is out of our hands. We can't change our fate or influence what other people say and do.
Next time you find yourself confronted with a problem, ask yourself into which category it falls. If it concerns your thoughts and actions, you can try to change it; if it concerns anything else, accept that it's beyond your control and move on.
Focusing on your performance is a better use of time than obsessing over outcomes.
In most situations, we only have limited control over outcomes.
Take a leaf out of American actor Bryan Cranston's book. As he put it in his speech at the 2012 Academy Awards, the only part of an audition actors can control is their performance. If you give it your all, create a strong character and deliver your lines as convincingly as you can, you can be rightly proud of your work even if you fail to land the part. And that pretty much hits the Stoical nail on the head: the only outcome in your hands is how well you play your part.

Full of gems for anyone, a bit boring at times though. I liked that it summarised nicely many books I have read long ago, so it was good refresher. One of the books that definitely leaves you with some food for thought. In my case, it was the thought experiment, where if a god would make me live this life again and again endlessly, without the ability of changing a thing, would I think of it as a blessing or a curse?