Getting the Love You Want : A Guide for Couples

3.5 stars. Helpful but focuses exclusively on heterosexual, monogamous couples. Does not discuss issues around privilege, race, or gender which can appear in a relationship, and present challenges of their own. Does not discuss open or polyamorous relationships and the unique challenges they present.

The Imago Dialogue technique (mirroring, validating, and empathizing) is excellent advice for anyone who wants to become a better listener—regardless of if that person is your partner.

Other takeaways:
- Avoid “parallel monologue”
- Ask “is there more about that?”
- Loving acts should not be conditional or transactional
- Your neural pathways cannot experience humor and anxiety at the same time
- “Small change produces sustainable change.”
- Eliminate negativity in all forms