Fitzwilliam Darcy, Rock Star

I somewhat shamefacedly admit to liking a lot of the P&P sequels, variations, etc. but this was a wall-banger from the get-go. While the idea of Darcy as a rock god, and Elizabeth Bennett as an aspiring rock guitarist, has potential, the execution was amateurish and painful to read. And the sex scenes - oh my god, shoot me now! Even if I did want to read about modern day Elizabeth and Darcy doing it like rabbits (which I don't), I definitely would not want to subject myself to this type of lurid purple prose that is about a sexy as my annual visit to the GYN. The dialogue is laughably flat, and the characterizations are completely absurd (Jane especially is reduced to a simpering piece of porcelain, although Charlotte Lucas as a wild good-time girl is actually a nice change of pace). Publishers Weekly called “Fitzwilliam Darcy, Rock Star” one of the best romance novels of the year - I blame them for the fact that I wasted my money on this laughable piece of fan fiction.