Field Notes for the Wilderness

I'm not the target audience probably for this book. There were a few theological things that she believes that I don't necessarily align with. By the grace of God I haven't lost faith in God, but my faith has definitely ebbed and flowed and so if you are someone who is deconstructing or looking for Jesus but don't feel like you belong in a church, I think this book would be a balm to your soul. If it draws you nearer to Christ, know that he is always with you, and that everything is super complex. Chapters 7 and 11 stood out the most to me.

Y'all. Where to start!?

If you know me at all you know that I have been going to the Evolving Faith Conference since the first one back in 2018. You already know that I love Sarah Bessey and her books and all of her writing. You might have heard me say that RHE, Sarah Bessey, and Nadia Bolz-Webber and their writings and sermons and podcasts helped me so much when I was really struggling “in the wilderness” of my own HUGE EXISTENTIAL SPIRITUAL FAITH CRISIS / DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL/ DECONSTRUCTION... whatever words you want to use to describe it. Those 3 women in particular helped me figure out how I could hold onto Jesus when so much of my theology and all of my certainty had “crumbled like sand ‘neath the waves” (yes that's a Bible & Jennifer Knapp lyric reference.)

I finished listening to the audiobook while driving home from work today. (It is read by Sarah and I highly recommend it!) a word of caution though: if you are often moved to tears by beautiful, healing words of encouragement, blessings, and her benedictions, you probably shouldn't be driving while listening to those parts! I had a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes so many times as I listened.

A few quotes from her benediction/blessing at the end of the book:

“So here, take this with you for the journey along with my love and hope. Sometimes when we don't know what we think about anything, it's nice to just rest in someone else's faith for a while anyway, especially when we feel a bit out of sorts. Open your hands and receive whatever lands. Everywhere we are is already held in the love of God, even in those times when the night gathers and you are on your own.” (217)

“First, I pray for you to know, to believe, to make your home within the love of God. May you be stubbornly convinced of your own value and belovedness. May you know that you aren't a problem to be solved, you never were.” (217)

“Receive the patience and kindness of the Spirit, offer it freely to everyone, including yourself. May that gentleness deliver you to an unforced rhythm of grace that reawakens you, recovers you, and restores you. May you receive losing your religion like the gift it will be to you in the end.” (218)

“May all of the meaning you find and create bring you comfort and peace.”(219)


I have more to say but you should really just go read her book!