Everyone You Hate is Going to Die

 I drink my gin and tonic. Like a man. Yes, like a man.
All you beer-drinking losers are too macho to admit that
beer tastes like a thousand sweaty buttholes. You sit there
throwing shade at real men, like me, who down cocktails.
You're too fragile and too proud to admit that fruit tastes
better than wheat. Drink for drink, I'll floor you. You do a
beer, I'll do my pornstar-martini, and I promise you, you'll
die. End of you. RIP, bitch.