Educated: A Memoir

“Education” is a memoir in the truest sense of the word; it is her version of her life so far, at times raw, at times uplifing, but at all times beautifully written.

This book came to my attention as the May 2018 pick for the Now Read This Book Club, a partnership between NPR and the New York Times (https://www.pbs.org/newshour/features/now-read-this/#educated). The page includes a long-form interview, a sample of Tara's singing, and a list of discussion questions. The Facebook page publishes discussion questions in whole and then individually, in which participants can interact and discuss the book. I was a little late to the party because I had to wait for several weeks for the holds to clear, but going back to the Facebook discussion and interview was helpful after reading the book mostly in two sittings.

At several points in the book, the author mentions that there are differing accounts of major events at which several family members were present. No one seems to have the same account of her brother Luke's severe leg burn. She also mentions that many of her journals use vague, shadowy language and later attributes writing this way to as a tactic to cope and avoid the truth about some of the troublesome things happening to and around her. In fact, many of her family members disagree entirely with her version of the truth. Her brother, Tyler, who at one point backed some of Tara's view of family events, has now taken down his blog (http://www.piecesofthepuzzlecalledtruth.org/).

Who hasn't experienced a faulty memory? Even if we are writing journals on a daily basis, are we really writing down everything?

Gene Westover reminds me of a family member in many ways. While not Mormon, this family member often drove without seatbelts, chainsmoked after multiple heart attacks, and often required others to follow his rough-and-tumble and unsafe practices when doing home improvement/destruction projects around the house. In recent years, he's forced his wife to stop wearing makeup (except for fancy occasions). It's always his way or the highway. And I see much of that in Gene Westover. We also see someone who may have bipolar disorder, or, at the very least, a persecution complex. Yet it was his wife who was always talking about the end times, although neither of them subscribed to survivalist behavior.

In a major turn, this same family member and his wife recently argued that I didn't know an older member of the family at all, whereas I was very close to her. At a point when someone you once looked up to and we're close to makes a claim that is the opposite of reality, you do question yourself. So, I understand Ms. Westover's cognitive dissonance that applying to her family with reason and a hope of stopping abuse might have some success. Ultimately, I think she makes the right decision; your life should not be valued less than others in the family simply because you are a female.

I also wonder if the Westover parents, particularly Gene, didn't feel some unstated guilt behind Shawn's behavior. Gene Westover is clearly an intelligent, if controlling and unstable, man. Did he know that the multiple TBIs Shawn experienced might have increased his violent tendencies? It's not clear to me when Shawn began bullying and being violent, although there are suggestions that Tara's older sister, Audrey, and older brother, Tyler, experienced abuse at Shawn's hands. Were those experiences before or after one of the serious brain injuries Shawn experienced? I'm not suggesting that Shawn's behavior should be excused, but it is helpful to know what might be causing some of his actions. I know three family members who have had serious brain injuries and there are different outcomes for each of them, although nothing like the behavior Shawn exhibits.

I highly recommend this book to everyone; if I were to distill the book simply into the gritty events, many folks would be attracted because it's hard to look away from a trainwreck (very few of us grow up not going to school avoiding injuries at the father's junkyard one minute and mixing herbs and oils for her mother another). However, there is much more to this book, much more to this Ms. Westover's account and writing style than I can do justice here.