Beowulf

june 19, 2021 @ 12:55 AM:

so no one knows who wrote Beowulf... some mystery author(s) btwn the 8th-11th centuries AD.
possibly the Anglo-Saxons? apparently they “had a similar heritage to the Geats, Swedes, and Danes - a few of the tribes who appear in the Beowulf narrative”.

the Hrothgar kingdom has a demon problem (the demon's name is Grendel) and this young Geatish warrior named Beowulf is like “imma fix it” cuz it's a challengecue record scratch – WAIT WHAT??apparently Beowulf fights this demon unarmed, rips his limbs off with his bear hands, and the demon goes off into the swamp to, just, DIEHrothgar celebrates Beowulf
but the demon's mom - who is a swamp hag - comes to exact revenge on her son's deathshe murders one of Hrothgar's advisors
Hrothgar's advisors retalliateBeowulf dives into the water to fight her and beheads her
so now the Danish countryside is free of monstersBeowulf's like “kay it's been nice, thx for treating me like a son but imma go home now”
home = Geatland, where he is celebrated by the king and queen (Hygelac and Hygd)quoting Sparknotes here: “Beowulf then hands over most of his treasure to Hygelac, who, in turn, rewards him.”

there's a war w/ Shylfings, Hygelac dies, and soon her son dies tooBeowulf rules Geatland for 50 years
When Beowulf is old, a thief breaks in and bothers their dragon (........why wasn't the dragon mentioned before?!!!!)Beowulf senses he's about to die, so he fights the dragon (which - ofc. that's exactly what one does when their death is imminent)
the Wiglaf help, and they all defeat the dragonbut the dragon bites Beowulf's neck, who dies
Geatland's like “shoot, we're in trouble now cuz Beowulf is dead, how are we going to survive D:”Beowulf's wishes are that he's burned in a funeral pyre and bury him w/ massive treasure “in a barrow overlooking the sea” (thanks Sparknotes).

the end.