Before I Fall

I felt like the pages were crying along with Evan in the opening scene of the story. His grief, anger, and despair were palpable and all-consuming, a tidal wave that overwhelmed and suffocated him with its heavy presence. He was falling free, with no anchor or safety net to save him, only the featherlight weight of his son's frail body keeping the tattered remnants of his sanity intact. Born and raised in the shackles of a small, conservative, narrow-minded religious community, Evan was suffering the whiplash of not bending and conforming to their norms and ideas of what's acceptable. The story deals with very sensitive topic and touches the delicate line between religious beliefs and religious fanaticism. Where is the said line between the 2 when human life is in danger of being lost? I can't say more without my musings being spoilerish. But long story short, when a person plays a God, the results are usually devastating. And for Evan and his newborn son - they are life altering and heart shattering. Ostracised and shunned by both families/his parents and the family of his girlfriend/, left alone to deal with the loss of his love and mother of his child, Evan had to learn to live his new reality shockingly fast. What he didn't expect was someone to catch him while he was falling and not only catch him but to become a solid rock he could rely on. Shunned and ostracised just like him, but for another reason, Simon knew achingly deep, what being alone and different is.
Simon was also Evan's ex uncle/ by marriage, not blood related/ - all grown up, solid 15y older, tattooed, riding a motorcycle, out and proud gay and bringing the wind of change to this backwater town, where Evan was desperately trying to rebuild his life and learn how to be a single widowed father. These men so seamlessly clicked together from the first moment. They had such an amazing chemistry but also character compatibility. After the intense beginning of the story, It was a relief to read how easily they build up a routine around taking caring of Remy and started getting to know each other. There was enough external angst and pressure, to keep me on edge while I was following the development of their relationship but no internal drama. Beneath the profound sadness and grief, after Evan was able to process the trauma that shook the foundations of his life, I was delighted to see a core of steel, calm determination and real maturity. The way he embraced his newfound attraction to Simon and the change of his sexuality, were beautifully written and gently explored. This is an impressive, heart-touching example of well-balanced slow burn romance where the characters had a clear line of open communication - they were in tune with each other every step of the way - listening, talking, thinking, adapting, taking decisions together.