Artemis Fowl and the Last Guardian

We are fine, Butler. That is to say that I, Artemis Fowl the Second, am one hundred percent functional, which is about five times the functionality of an average person. Or to put it another way: one point five Mozarts. Or three-quarters of a da Vinci.


“The odds are against us, as they have been so often, my friend,” he whispered, as much to himself as to Holly.


Perhaps we can win, he thought. But there will be no happy ending.


“We lost the crickets,” said Butler, causing Holly to break down in a splutter of hysterical giggles, which she stifled in her sopping sleeve.
“We lost the crickets,” she said. “Even you can't make that sound tough.”
Butler rubbed water from his close-cropped hair.
“I am Butler,” he said, straight-faced. “Everything I say sounds tough. Now, get out of the lake, fairy.”


... as his lawyer had once famously said, Three or four percent of the time my client was not a hundred percent accountable for the particular crime he was being accused of, which is to say that there were a significant number of incidents where Mr. Diggums's involvement in the said incidents was negligible even if he might have technically been involved in wrongdoing adjacent to the crime scene on a slightly different date than specified on the LEP warrant.


“Wow,” said Holly, watching arrows thunk into the nose and wings. “You didn't foresee a troll-riding dwarf pushing your plane down the runway. You must be losing your touch, Artemis.”


Artemis looked at Holly then and felt a tremendous affection for her. He wished that he could loop the past ten seconds and study it at a less stressful time so he could properly appreciate how fierce and beautiful his best friend was. Holly never seemed so vital as when she was balancing on the fine line between life and death. Her eyes shone and her wit was sharp. Whereas others would fall apart or withdraw, Holly attacked the situation with a vigor that made her glow. She is truly magical, thought Artemis. Perhaps her qualities are more obvious to me now that I have decided to sacrifice myself.


“Okay. Death cheated one more time. What's next, brainiac?”


There was no time. No time for anything but action. The fear had passed, and Artemis was still set on his course.
I can do it, he realized. I can think with my heart.