A ​Court of Silver Flames

Maas done wrote a character that hates herself so much she wants to die and I have never felt more seen. I'll spare you the 600 word spiel I wrote up in my notes app the other day and just tell you that grief looks different on everyone. I mean, think about a time where you were So Extremely Sad. Maybe you have healthier coping mechanisms, but for me, I feel so powerless in my sadness. Everyone around you is angry at your attitude when you're just fighting everything within reach to survive. For Nesta, I think the decision to lock her up in the House of Wind was a decision filled with hatred (rhys), embarrassment (feyre), selfishness (cassian), and a desire for control. Despite whatever your frustrations are with her, she's a grown woman who should be allowed to drink wine and fuck whoever she wants. And I think that was the MOST frustrating part...she was essentially stripped of her bodily autonomy. (why couldn't this woman just get a job and pay off her debts instead?). It's definitely convenient that Nesta thinks of his time as really self destructive (like she's not worthy of having friends because she had casual sex?). If I had to compare it to anything, it felt like the edge of seventeen. That one movie where everyone keeps telling this 17 year old girl that she pities herself too much and no one likes her and then she has to apologize to everyone at the end for some unknown reason. Except maybe the apologies Nesta gives out are kinda valid! ONE LAST MESSAGE ABOUT NESTA: A lot of you have darker fucking spirits and make deeper cuts than her. AND A lot of you want the complex, morally grey characters but can't even stomach a woman who drinks too much wine and says mean things to her sisters. If you never intended to extend empathy towards her, you never should've asked for more POVs. I DIGRESS NOW.

The smut in this book was SICKENNINGGG! My metaphorical dick was twitching. It started slow and got downright nasty at times. Mrs. Maas, I see your growth. I don't think we needed AS MANY as we got though. It made me wonder at times if they even liked each other.

The introduction to these troves and new antagonists is smart and helped keep the story fresh. Wasn't sure how Maas was going to continue the series after the war but she somehow created new turmoil, gave us new history lessons, and extended this world so much farther that I ever could've imagined. While I do think this works, a part of me does get the feeling that all this newness was a desperate attempt to keep things going? I LIKE the newness, but is obvious to me that the newness reworks the series into something completely different than it was before. Especially since none of these tools and creatures were ever mentioned in previous books. I guess I'm just a sucker for foreshadowing and wished we'd been introduced to some of these things earlier. Still, I think it worked out well so I can't say too much about it!

This is my favorite in the series for the SHEERRRR FACT that it made me cry the most. I felt so seen, as someone who's always filled with anger. I get payback in arguments by saying the mean stuff and regret it. I have a hard time apologizing. And it makes me hate myself! (Which like, fair!) Nesta lowkey showed me that there is a way out of that toxic behavior (literally just meditation and good dick?)