Hardcover

This started out as a 4 star read for me but around the 70% mark I started to get irritated with the characters because they were taking much longer than necessary to find the answers for things they should have been easily able to figure out.

I briefly checked myself on these thoughts, wondering if it's because I knew things they didn't - but no, the characters and the reader had the same information. So, I started to get a bit impatient around the 80% mark, because I had already essentially figured the rest of the story out, while the characters were still slowly stumbling along in a way that didn't make sense to me.

Admittedly, I did eventually end up mostly skimming through the last 90 or so pages of the book because of this. There were some seemingly touching scenes about forgiveness and such, but alas, I am a petty b*tch and I hold grudges for life lmfao forgiveness isn't really in my vocabulary 😆

Overall, I appreciated the Author's ability to weave in important topics such as racism and generational trauma into a unique (and weird as heck - in a good way) story, & I legitimately really enjoyed the first 60% of it but, I ultimately lost interest in the characters and what would happen to them by the end.

This next part is not directly related to this book in particular, just some grumbling about unresolved feelings I've been having for a while, concerning book rating in general. A lot of it is more @ myself than anyone else lol feel free to skip 😂

Rating books has often been difficult for me for me for many reasons 🙃 it's a frustrating struggle of asking myself "is it just me, or is it the book?" And honestly, does making that distinction really matter? It's *my* rating after all. The factors that led to that decision are nobody's business but my own in the end.

I am also admittedly a mood reader, so I am often stopping to ask myself when I start to feel like I am no longer enjoying a book "did my mood change mid-way into reading, or is there something about the story/writing making me feel this way?"

I've wasted a lot of my time as a reader trying to navigate the "right" way to rate a book, and after much trial & error, and ruminating over the subject to the point of obsession - I genuinely no longer believe there truly is one. I have mostly just been rating based on vibes lately, and that works for me. I don't think anyone should judge other people for the way they rate books. I see this happen often, and it has indeed led to some of my own self-judgements, shame, and confusion surrounding book rating. Often, it leaves me feeling frustrated and wondering if I'm somehow rating the "wrong" way, as if that even exists.

Reading is subjective, and ratings are subjective. Even friends who typically have incredibly similar taste in books as I do, have loved books I hated, or hated books I loved. Shit haps 🤷🏼‍♀️

This is another reason I strongly believe authors have no business in reader spaces. You can't obsess over the ratings of your books, because it's simply a fact that not everyone will have the same reading experience (based on many different factors) and therefore will not have the same thoughts, feelings, and ratings for your book[s]. 🫡